To my mum~Who in many ways inspired my all.!

Phew...Had a 100 meter run to work today...~That was like..Crap!!!!Hehe~But it gave me a great sleep after that...We were late for the shuttle bus u see...=0 Therefore, run we should!!~

It's a great day today..To laugh..

To sleep...

To relax..

=) It has been quite some time since I had a feel good evening...(fyi it's 3 now)..

It's also a Great Great Day to Miss Mum!!~

Well,

ever since the divorce, things are awfully quiet at home...

Well I will never say that the divorce that happen many years ago is a good thing, but I can never deny the fact that...It made our family closer...=)...of course with the exception of my dad and mum you see..~

It's been a while..

Everytime when I would go to the supermarket, I remembered my mum....Who loved us three sons so much, she would FORCE us to buy some snacks for ourselves haha...~What can I say>Mum's knows best!~ Well the three of us brother is kinda like those pai-seh type. Even if got ppl give one million dollar to us we will say no a million time =p..But our mum knows best =)!

There's a lot of time when during and after the divorce we misunderstood a lot about our mum..and that I really am sorry for that =(... Maybe we were also going through hard times =( ...But nonetheless, our mum is always first in our heart and we know with all our heart that we are also numero uno at her heart =p..

So yeah...

To our mom!

Muakssss!!!~

Thanks for everything =)

Rejection!!~

After a very super cun-ted weekend, it has come again to that time of the week, where I would wake up early and face the computer for like 8 hours zzz...But hey it taught me a lot to learn to be 'konnonya' submissive and most importantly hardwoking!!!...hehe~ If anyone knows me well enough he/she should know amongn everything, I'm the most lazzzyyyyy and lovesss procrastinating...~But I hope by days I'm learning to change...!

It's been a very tiring week last week, physically and even more emotionally...I think I'm having depression haha~like seriously!!!Randomly, I would feel superbly down... Then in like the next minute, I was like hyperly super active... Maybe I have bipolar...or AD/HD...or.....lalalalala~Unstable feelings in my heart always..!

But last week, I noticed quite some many things that seems..appealing!..You know sometimes there were times when not only tragedy would bring you down in life...It is all those little little cumulative disappointment in life.

Just wondering for anyone would read this.. I've been pondering as to why ppl would change..as in from believing in something good to the opposite..~

It's quite bitter when a person puts his whole heart and soul to do something and only to find out that when he returns to celebrate with his closest ones, they weren't there to even say thanks or worst, even ignoring him. Sometimes its like this ya know in life...When previously we have done so badly in life and then we decided to 'turn over to a new leaf', but there was no one even there to acknowledge the tough battle and struggle. Or when we have done something so preciously,with effort and just been shown a cold shoulder despite the trouble...Now that's crappy ain't it?...

At many times, when we went through such things, we would feel as though there is totally no point to continue on doing what we would do, and rather better to do things that might get attention such as drawing out from a crowd, or isolating yourself, or doing 'deviant' stuffs!~ Only to find out that, Hey,that joker who did not acknowledge me previously now is freaking judging me...

Hmm sad huh~?..Maybe that's how life is when we look it from a very discouraging point of view..Allow me to break the ice~!hehe~...

We will always hope for ppl to accept us for who we are by what we do at most of the time. When our boss would not acknowledge our work..When our friends would not accept us...When our parents would complain about our test results...When our spouse would compare us... These are all times when we are rejected and told indirectly that you are just not good enough...

The truth is...There is exactly no time that you can please everyone...Even at times do remember that there are times that you can never please anyone at all!~...Because that's life and until we get a very firm grip of that reality, we're still gonna struggle to get ppl's favour and attention ya see... I understand the pain of being overlooked of your effort.

So why do we continue doing the good stuff we are doing despite knowing this then>?I'll leave that for you and your consciousness to figure out....Hehe~Because I struggled as well to answer to myself why am I doing good things for ppl who never want to appreciate it....May you continue to find the answer that will encourage you...

That will encourage you to love even more...to care for ppl that never cared about you before..to hold their hands of those who abandoned you unexpectedly..to care and to concern for those who took advantage over you...

That, my friend, is when you would understand that the joy of loving is much more than that of gaining recognition for all the works we've done...

Do try it yeah...

Even when ppl tell you it's not worth it..and hating is the easier way.Just try it...You'll make a difference definitely =)...

You know also, that the best thing happens when we never expected for acceptance and then when we were accepted..Holy-moly..that's the best feeling like ever.Period...hehe

Do look at the bright side always yeah... If you know enough, life is never one easy road, but it's worth doing a difference with what we can even if people know it or not...=)

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

LuLuLu~~~

Boredness running through my blood...~

So I decide to share some personal things in this not-many-ppl (if there even is) that read this blog of mine XD...

Even after one year and 5 months after my dad's accident, there's always flashback ya know, and unpleasant memories.. First because I came from a broken family and next is because of the sucky accident... So yeah, its kinda of a struggling to live everyday...

Being the only son in then house apart from my step mum stresses me out everyday with house works and responsibility, and yesshhhhh many time its really on the edge...

Funny eh?...When ppl is in their most terrible moment, ppl around us will judge us even more instead of offering a helping hand... I was very bitter because of ppl that are constantly criticizing my life and the way I took care of my dad...Well Many time I wish they would Shut the hell Up..>~ For real~ =P... Forgive my rudeness...

It was hard and still is...and many times I wonder why am I still taking care of ppl around me when I cant even take care of my own...

Well when would it end??hehe~ God knows/...

But will stand strong though in this world of gazillion discouragement....

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

If God was real, then He must be sleeping?? (or is He even real?)

Back to...Blogging hohoho~ still in Hp as always, but slightly more hardworking today..As in really hardworking yeahhhhh~hehehe~ I actually called ten customer in half an hour!!! Praise me Praise Me!!!XD

Often time people always have this question when they are in problem....Where is God??????.....

And its often link to the problems of this world... A very common question..If God is real why does He allows sufferings?or why does He allow bad things to happen to good people =)...

Bear in mind, No...I'm not gonna argue about this and proof with all my might that God really does exist..But allow me to speak more as a HUMAN BEING going through tough times... =P...

The truth is when my dad had an accident last year I was just as confused as anyone would be...

Think about yourself...When you went through that difficult-est moment.... Life surely is hard at that time and nobody can ever define that moment for you... To some extend you may think perhaps God won't understand you as well...

Well hehe~ I do not have the answer to everything ya see...I was just as confused as you... Be it I'm a Christian or not...

But I do notice that not everyone that comes from a divorced family ends up as a useless person,

I also noticed that...

Not all people who lost their father ends up as gangsters..

Not all people who lost their mother will hang themselves...

Not all people who lost a best friend will blame God or anyone as well..

Not everyone who went through breakups will hold every memories they had as a burden...

I do not understand..Hehe sadly...

Maybe none of us would...

But I just want to encourage you that, just because something might happen to you or your loved ones, you musn't need to be like one of those people that end up bad as a result of the circumstances or tragedy...

Be encouraged always with the success people had when they were in their lowest point!!!~ Because they went through a deal of hurts and confusion as well...~

Choose to live and stand up despite all those things that brings you down!~

So at anytime you are hurt and sad....Be encouraged...! Choose to live and not hold anything back in your heart! =)

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

Chains of discouragement...Domino!!!!XD

I'm back hoho~Blogging=I'm working at HP....XD...(Strictly no comments!!!!)

I've heard before of a 'kononnya' proverb, that it takes ten encouragement to cover up one discouragement....I think honestly if you would pass through the age of 20, you should know by then that it is more of a reality to say that we can never get ten encouragement a day...It's actually more of a ten discouragement per HALF an encouragement a day =P...!

Come on let's not deny it, the things we've heard and the problems we've faced... It's just mightily hard to stand up and feel happy every moment..

When you would go to work, or you're at home, there are always things that would...PLOP!!! and discourages you...

And as much as you are feeling happy and joyful, some jokers nearby would just...PLOP!!! and discourages you again...

But hey, I think, maybe the best way to feel encourage ya know is to encourage others....

I've heard before of a brother of mine mentioning... that (haha!) Linkin Park new song has meaning as compared to last time and that many fans do not like LP anymore..(which in a way true)....

And I think it's very obvious that people tends to stay negative ( I mean like soooooo negative ) rather than positive..

Last few weeks when I was in the psychiatric ward with a sister, believe it or not, most of the patients are very much like us... From their looks and their outward appearance and the way they would speak resembles very much like us. But it's what they speak that totally sparks my interest....

The thing I kept hearing was.....'How to be okay?'...or like 'Cannot cure one la'....

Don't that sound very similiar to you when you're at your most defeated moment, or moment of 'epic' depression XD...

Because thats how we are when we are sad...We look at the negative rather than positive...When a doctor would tell u that you are okay, you will doubt that the doctor is wrong... ~Which I would also do haha!...

I know it is very hard...Awesomely hard to step out of being sad and the feeling of anger and defeated...I've been there before. You've been there before..

But I rather see it as being courageous... As being courageous to step out of your self-pity...

Being strong and not holding anger in the heart...

Being firm but not boasting of the problem...

Seriously....Don't you really find people who would step out of their sadness as Highly Courageous...Mature...and respectful..

A lot of people fail ya know??

So why not let's take the first step and say a no to sadness pulling down our lives...

Let's be different from others..

We'll stand up and say no to sadness dragging us down...=)

And I'll pray that you will feel a difference when you're trying...because you definitely will!

It will be hard, honestly...

A lot of time for me as well, when I would encourage others, I myself felt very tired and weak in the inside because it seems as though it is of no difference whether I encourage or not...But one of the greatest joy I had is when people would tell me that they are really encourage even just a little..So I believe to heal yourself, you might want to try healing others...You'll be shock that the smile of another person for you is much more effective than your own smiles....For real =P...

However,becareful of not being discourage yourself.

A brother of mine once told me something very encouraging and he gave me a piece of a very (sangatlah teramat) great advice...

And it sounds like this....

'Get some rest.....' HAhahahaha~But it meant a world to me...Because often time when we would only look at other's problem ......we only will feel utttttterrrrrllllllyyyy EFFFFING discouraged =P...for real...And there was a point in my life and still that I feel a lot of thing would discourage me (be it problems of mine or others)..and I know that there are times when I should get some rest and so should you...So as to prevent the DOMINO effect =)... Because yes....other people's problem can as very well affect you (or worst)..

Hehe~thanks for reading again after so long disappearing...

If there would be anything for you to remember is that...

Healing would need time....

Love should never turn to anger...

Love never fails....

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

Jack of all trades,but sadly..master of none..

Huhu…look like blogging is my next best friend X)…it lets me say all I want without anyone having to put masking tape on my mouth!...HEHE…

Well yeah, I remember at one time someone told me I love to chuckle on the phone.At first it was funny but sooner or later when friendship when longer, that person told me, ‘Hey!You like to ‘tersengih’ on the phone rite?’ haha…after that not much call were made anymore xP!

But nyways, yeah it’s a bad habit to ‘sengih-sengih’ on the phone but what is there to do as it is in my blood!..hehe~~Thank God for many ppl who can stand my ke~sengihan when I talk to them (One of the most patient is my mother!)But wont it be great if I really can overcome such bad habit??wont’t it be great if what we thought we could not do, after all we could?..

Hehe I always remember a phrase and I quote what many ppl says when there is a barrier in front of us, ‘If you believe in yourself anything is possible!!!’Huhu…sounds so positive!Sounds so so amazing and fair enough most of the time when we believe it really does HAPPEN!!!!...

You name it, cigarette smoking, gambling, cursing, etc etc etc….Anything (logic) that we thought we could not overcome could be overcome…

It’s amazing isn’t it when we could overcome a ‘Mission Impossible’! but, really…

When it comes to the matter of the heart,many of us are fatigue.Fatigue from the inside out..And I wonder why?

I have many ppl whom I know coming from various background. People who are physically tough, weak,tall, strong, happy, joyful, ( and the rest u can play hangman to figure out the characteristic hehe~~ ),but not many who can really stand up during tough time and say that “I’m okay”.. And for the obvious we know why…

Many of us are really but just house ceilings..Full and satisfied in the outside but in the inside are void…And when a tragedy or something unpleasant happened we are quick to blame…Quick to despair and most of time quick to give up… Now having all those puny little achievement wont do much right??hehe~~ sounds so depressing if only u think of it as it is…

What am I really getting here? Where am I really going to?

The only little point in this whole blog is just one….SUFFERING IS SUFFERING…Nothing can compensate the pain of it. No achievement we have can even take a single second of the pain. And nothing you can do can allow you to run away from it.Of course you may have some fun and this and that to forget it,but where can you go so as to forget about it??

Don’t run away from pain.Dont try to degrade your suffering.In fact, Don’t even bother to put down other ppl’s suffering and say “It’s nothing” , because those (what we call nonsense from God) are something that will and must teach us of life to come and it’s problem..

Yes, you may argue that true friends must stick for each other. That is absolutely true as I have wonderful friends to support me along the way through those dark times. But Supporting and Negating the problems are two different issue we should remember always..

A true friend will always support one another but never negates or play dummy about the truth…Because those are what tat matters the most..Those hard times are a license for life and if you would believe, for the next life as well.

So stay strong always because sufferings and hard times are just for a moment...and always as long as you keep breathing those times are passing away quick X)..

Love life!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

Suffering at my left Despair at my right, everywhere I look, there is Never a daylight..Or IS IT?

Back again!!!wee...To this almost dead blog?but no...it would not end here!huahua!...

A question I would like to ask everyone would be, 'Do you think you are a good person?'...

And many would answer yes or dont know (or no just for being humble sake)..But fair enuf, many of us consider that we are fairly good enough on the line not to do any super duper wrong things like KILLING ....etc etc.

But maybe that's why many of us feels that we deserve a wonderful and glorious life..Be it whether whatever background we came from we would always think that when something so severe comes to us, we never deserve such problem..I wont touch upon any of this issue from a religious point of view but...All in all, we know deep in our heart that we never ever ever deserve what we get..X)

And maybe..just maybe we dont really deserve it..Maybe, just maybe God made a mistake. Maybe luck was just not on our side..Or maybe NOT?

One of em' pain that many of us ignore but fear most is that of somebody we loved pass away..Hehe, of course even I do have that fear BEFORE. And yes, it's beyond describable. And not many can take the pain fairly..Clouded by uncertainty and fear, it really brings a lot of suffering and despair in our soul...That is when we are too focused with what will bring us down rather than that that will bring us to a better benefit...But surely you would say that I'm crazy for saying that there are benefits suffering and all the more when we are talking of someone we love passed away..Fair enough, sounds absolutely absurd for saying such thing...(ppl would say CHOI!) X)

But really,

Just so that all of us know we are not the only one that will have our loved ones pass away. We can always learn from what we suffer and those mark left behind by the one we love will always remain in our heart..

Suffering is something very painful when we lost someone, but what we always fail to notice is that we have to go through what we need to go through..And what we go through during those hard times, are what that will make others strong..

If we could only understand, how precious are those we lost dearly, we would really tell of others how much more they should appreciate their loved ones..

And with what we lost dearly,

We could bless others by reminding them tat life is SHORT!

Losing someone or going through tragedies or maybe as simple as breakups may mean the end of the world for you..But, so long as you keep your feet up and walk, the pain are just fading away and pretty soon, you can stand up and say , ' I had went through that before and I made it through '.

Sounds ridiculous?....Hmm....Maybe for those whom life seems happy go lucky for now may think its pretty simple, but we let the pain speak for itself when things turn around.

And until then for those whom had feel the pain should support them even if they had put you down right?..Because none of us deserve more than what we should have already and there is no need to further anyone's misery X)....

Life is suffering, But at the end of the day as long u'r still breathing, as long u'r still walking,You know very much that the time is almost over for pain,and Joy itself comes with a loud noise X)...Stay Strong!

-Foldforever-

In support of Anti-suicide!!!!

Huahuahua!