The 3 seconds Gap...~

Back!Lol...like finally...~

And its 4 a.m.....~
HELLLLOOOOO!!! =P....

Anyways yea,
am nt feeling tat high now, so i ber-emo now in my post alone hahaha!!~ If you read it, hmm interesting that you still viewed my blog....And I have to congratulate you with a....Slap!!!!~=P...

Have you ever experienced the 3-seconds-gap...?
Sometime, when there was a group discussion, and ppl would find it hard to talk to another person....
In which this case, is me...lol..~
I find it very unique when most of the time, ppl would call my name, "Joshua!"....and then ....the 3 second gap....and then some random comments ....and then ....the end...~~

So what is that 3 second gap??? (Bear in mind the 3 second gap can actually be a 30 second gap as well)...

I'm not sure if youre ever faced with this.... But if you do....Hehehe~ You met your species.!~
Remember those time when ppl would talk so casually with other friends and all of a sudden to you...it takes deep deeeeeeeeeppp thinking....
Yea...the 3 second gap....

The gap that really says....
"I find it hard to talk to you"....
or.... "I need to make effort talking to you"...which can be utterly discouraging honestly...

hmm....~
well, how do I react to it???~ I dunno,,,lol

Most of the times, I would just ..hehe~and hehe some more xp...
But honestly it really isnt something nice when most of your friends and family are like this...
So yea.... There arent really any..solutions to it right now...

But so I decided to share..
Who knows there would be someone as well that may have went through this...
Sometimes knowing someone else having the same problem is a help eh??? heheehe~

Stilll...Love life!
Be encouraged....!

Anti-Suicide!!!!!~ =)

The substance that sustained~Like Forever~ 1

Mush Mash~ Huhuhu~ Hehehe~ Hahaha~

Just wanna thank those that upheld me in my times of super downness~For your never-ending love and encouragement~ Thanks yeah really..Hehe~

The Reward awaitsssssss$~ Limau Ais =P...(Low budget) =P

After 20 years of breathing, I can say ....Bagus!~ To life.... It really is one of the best things that ever happened.. Not only those sweet times and blessings that I am happy about but more towards those times of shaping me through those tough tough times...Yesss~ It is those times that , you were looking around, but nobody seems to be there, and the times that you questioned 'Does God exist?'...

Those are the times I cherished very much because it made me who I am~...

And I believed with all my heart it form You to be who you are...

~Remember yeah, that nobody can judge you for who you are~!

Okay back to the blog =O.... (I sure do talk many many things ain't I? hehe)...

Ever thought to yourself like, why do we even live?? I mean like I've heard quite some ppl telling that life is so pointless today because everything I have will not be mine forever... True enough~..

Life can be very pointless if anyone would think that everything we have is temporary only...

Then what is forever?????~

Ooo~ You ppl that went through those tough times...I believe there is only two final results that will be produced after some tragedy happens...

1) You get super bitter and you hate... Hate this and that and everything...for everything... Nothing wrong in that, but don't ya feel tired at timesss to always have to blame and to be bitter?...Because I do...~

The only thing that sustained me like forever, is the other result....The result of Love~...

Woosh~And how can like love be forever?....

When my dad felt from the roof, when my mum left, when all seems to fail... I believe that one of the only thing that kept me moving is the love I had...~ for others that will also go through this 'hell' of life..~ To know that there are others that are worst and that others who in any day could experience such instant hurt and emotional distress... I continued to live for them..~ In those times...when hurt seems most inevitable, love is the only thing that sustains.. Not the things I have..Not even money..~

You know when ppl say...'Yer, love? What could it do?' or like 'Love is Gay' =P...Well those are the products of hate... If you listen closely to the words and the heart... Doesn't it sounds very bitter to you? A person that has given up loving..~and choose to hate, hoping to forget what has happened..~

So you!~ Let's try loving...Perhaps you could learn to love your life first for everything that happens and not have any resentment towards it...Perhaps you could learn to love your family or your friends for their constant support to you, even if you may rejected them with the thoughts that they never understand...

It makes a lot of difference, really....

Because if it does not I'd be hanging myself a long longgg time...

And to my stepmum, my brothers, and family and friends who loved me so much that they hold my hand through these tough times...That is everything to me...And a solid proof..That even in the darkest of dark times...Love is there to support us always..~

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

Remembering you...

Phew...What's with me and blogging, man....The sudden 9 9 revival...xp.

Once a junior told me..In his super awesome wonderful slang...' I can get any girl I want'... Then, I was like wow...( Because undoubtedly, he definitely can get any girl he wants )...Then I ter-asked him, ' Can you keep those girls that you have then?'... And then there was like superbly awesomeness silent...

I think maybe the best thing to address in this generation is the issue of break-ups... In some point of my life, I thought that, Hey!First time relationship is like totally impossible... Well, I don't really know now but I think it is possible hehe~ The most common and deep hurt is that of break-ups...

Remember those times when (if) you were with someone so special to your heart and the very thought of it that the person now don't ever belongs close to you anymore... Well, allow me to speak for all...It sucks as hell =P... No one in any sane possible mind are fully okay with a break up. Even if it is a good bf or bad bf or good gf or bad gf or lalalalala~...

It never pleases anyone when a break up happens..Even if either side says that it is the best for them or themselves...

I'm no healer of break-up...and I believe that there are times where it is inevitable for break ups to happen...

And yes, in many many times, I struggled a lot in the issue of past emotional hurts.. And I know many who in their own way feels the same. It is NEVER easy to overcome that feeling.

Often time I think what can best replace love is Hating the person you used to love. Its the easiest way to forget someone by finding a reason to hate... It's incredibly easy...Just that it's an awesomely cheap way to cover up such precious things shared (unless you're dating a rapist =P)...

What do we expect of love and relationship?

Why do we love a person ?

I think that hurt we felt during the break-up results because of what we think of love.. Maybe we should stop expecting so much??Sometimes we expect just too much even when the relationship have long ended...And again and again those unrealistic expectation disappoints us always..

It is very hard I know to recover after such emotional trauma..and honestly nobody can understand you better than yourself during those times. It is annoying at times when ppl would tell you to, 'just move on lah' without considering the situation, but again be reminded always, that...they meant good for you =)...

Sometimes ppl may not understand.. Sometimes they will say 'Time will heal everything'... and they left and it seems like you are the only one in this never-ending battle...But, do understand that it is very hard as well to comfort a broken-hearted people. The fact that they even come to you and tells you that 'Time will heal everything' is a sign that, Hey!they cared =)...Might not be in a way they want, but at least they tried for you ya know...

So, you broken hearted ppl, cheer on always yeah...

Choose not to stay in being sad (although at moment it's important to cry) and move on always =)

And always remember, no one can understand you as much as yourself can,

So do not be offended when you are judged by others for being sad , but also remember because of that, people finds it hard as well to comfort you the way you want it until you speak up! =)

An elder of mine once said...

'Crying is a good healing tool'...hehe~ I believed that....

Cheer on always..and remember that ppl cares...for you...Yes YOU!!!!

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

To my mum~Who in many ways inspired my all.!

Phew...Had a 100 meter run to work today...~That was like..Crap!!!!Hehe~But it gave me a great sleep after that...We were late for the shuttle bus u see...=0 Therefore, run we should!!~

It's a great day today..To laugh..

To sleep...

To relax..

=) It has been quite some time since I had a feel good evening...(fyi it's 3 now)..

It's also a Great Great Day to Miss Mum!!~

Well,

ever since the divorce, things are awfully quiet at home...

Well I will never say that the divorce that happen many years ago is a good thing, but I can never deny the fact that...It made our family closer...=)...of course with the exception of my dad and mum you see..~

It's been a while..

Everytime when I would go to the supermarket, I remembered my mum....Who loved us three sons so much, she would FORCE us to buy some snacks for ourselves haha...~What can I say>Mum's knows best!~ Well the three of us brother is kinda like those pai-seh type. Even if got ppl give one million dollar to us we will say no a million time =p..But our mum knows best =)!

There's a lot of time when during and after the divorce we misunderstood a lot about our mum..and that I really am sorry for that =(... Maybe we were also going through hard times =( ...But nonetheless, our mum is always first in our heart and we know with all our heart that we are also numero uno at her heart =p..

So yeah...

To our mom!

Muakssss!!!~

Thanks for everything =)

Rejection!!~

After a very super cun-ted weekend, it has come again to that time of the week, where I would wake up early and face the computer for like 8 hours zzz...But hey it taught me a lot to learn to be 'konnonya' submissive and most importantly hardwoking!!!...hehe~ If anyone knows me well enough he/she should know amongn everything, I'm the most lazzzyyyyy and lovesss procrastinating...~But I hope by days I'm learning to change...!

It's been a very tiring week last week, physically and even more emotionally...I think I'm having depression haha~like seriously!!!Randomly, I would feel superbly down... Then in like the next minute, I was like hyperly super active... Maybe I have bipolar...or AD/HD...or.....lalalalala~Unstable feelings in my heart always..!

But last week, I noticed quite some many things that seems..appealing!..You know sometimes there were times when not only tragedy would bring you down in life...It is all those little little cumulative disappointment in life.

Just wondering for anyone would read this.. I've been pondering as to why ppl would change..as in from believing in something good to the opposite..~

It's quite bitter when a person puts his whole heart and soul to do something and only to find out that when he returns to celebrate with his closest ones, they weren't there to even say thanks or worst, even ignoring him. Sometimes its like this ya know in life...When previously we have done so badly in life and then we decided to 'turn over to a new leaf', but there was no one even there to acknowledge the tough battle and struggle. Or when we have done something so preciously,with effort and just been shown a cold shoulder despite the trouble...Now that's crappy ain't it?...

At many times, when we went through such things, we would feel as though there is totally no point to continue on doing what we would do, and rather better to do things that might get attention such as drawing out from a crowd, or isolating yourself, or doing 'deviant' stuffs!~ Only to find out that, Hey,that joker who did not acknowledge me previously now is freaking judging me...

Hmm sad huh~?..Maybe that's how life is when we look it from a very discouraging point of view..Allow me to break the ice~!hehe~...

We will always hope for ppl to accept us for who we are by what we do at most of the time. When our boss would not acknowledge our work..When our friends would not accept us...When our parents would complain about our test results...When our spouse would compare us... These are all times when we are rejected and told indirectly that you are just not good enough...

The truth is...There is exactly no time that you can please everyone...Even at times do remember that there are times that you can never please anyone at all!~...Because that's life and until we get a very firm grip of that reality, we're still gonna struggle to get ppl's favour and attention ya see... I understand the pain of being overlooked of your effort.

So why do we continue doing the good stuff we are doing despite knowing this then>?I'll leave that for you and your consciousness to figure out....Hehe~Because I struggled as well to answer to myself why am I doing good things for ppl who never want to appreciate it....May you continue to find the answer that will encourage you...

That will encourage you to love even more...to care for ppl that never cared about you before..to hold their hands of those who abandoned you unexpectedly..to care and to concern for those who took advantage over you...

That, my friend, is when you would understand that the joy of loving is much more than that of gaining recognition for all the works we've done...

Do try it yeah...

Even when ppl tell you it's not worth it..and hating is the easier way.Just try it...You'll make a difference definitely =)...

You know also, that the best thing happens when we never expected for acceptance and then when we were accepted..Holy-moly..that's the best feeling like ever.Period...hehe

Do look at the bright side always yeah... If you know enough, life is never one easy road, but it's worth doing a difference with what we can even if people know it or not...=)

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

LuLuLu~~~

Boredness running through my blood...~

So I decide to share some personal things in this not-many-ppl (if there even is) that read this blog of mine XD...

Even after one year and 5 months after my dad's accident, there's always flashback ya know, and unpleasant memories.. First because I came from a broken family and next is because of the sucky accident... So yeah, its kinda of a struggling to live everyday...

Being the only son in then house apart from my step mum stresses me out everyday with house works and responsibility, and yesshhhhh many time its really on the edge...

Funny eh?...When ppl is in their most terrible moment, ppl around us will judge us even more instead of offering a helping hand... I was very bitter because of ppl that are constantly criticizing my life and the way I took care of my dad...Well Many time I wish they would Shut the hell Up..>~ For real~ =P... Forgive my rudeness...

It was hard and still is...and many times I wonder why am I still taking care of ppl around me when I cant even take care of my own...

Well when would it end??hehe~ God knows/...

But will stand strong though in this world of gazillion discouragement....

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)

If God was real, then He must be sleeping?? (or is He even real?)

Back to...Blogging hohoho~ still in Hp as always, but slightly more hardworking today..As in really hardworking yeahhhhh~hehehe~ I actually called ten customer in half an hour!!! Praise me Praise Me!!!XD

Often time people always have this question when they are in problem....Where is God??????.....

And its often link to the problems of this world... A very common question..If God is real why does He allows sufferings?or why does He allow bad things to happen to good people =)...

Bear in mind, No...I'm not gonna argue about this and proof with all my might that God really does exist..But allow me to speak more as a HUMAN BEING going through tough times... =P...

The truth is when my dad had an accident last year I was just as confused as anyone would be...

Think about yourself...When you went through that difficult-est moment.... Life surely is hard at that time and nobody can ever define that moment for you... To some extend you may think perhaps God won't understand you as well...

Well hehe~ I do not have the answer to everything ya see...I was just as confused as you... Be it I'm a Christian or not...

But I do notice that not everyone that comes from a divorced family ends up as a useless person,

I also noticed that...

Not all people who lost their father ends up as gangsters..

Not all people who lost their mother will hang themselves...

Not all people who lost a best friend will blame God or anyone as well..

Not everyone who went through breakups will hold every memories they had as a burden...

I do not understand..Hehe sadly...

Maybe none of us would...

But I just want to encourage you that, just because something might happen to you or your loved ones, you musn't need to be like one of those people that end up bad as a result of the circumstances or tragedy...

Be encouraged always with the success people had when they were in their lowest point!!!~ Because they went through a deal of hurts and confusion as well...~

Choose to live and stand up despite all those things that brings you down!~

So at anytime you are hurt and sad....Be encouraged...! Choose to live and not hold anything back in your heart! =)

Love life!Be encouraged!!!!

-Because it's worth doing so-

-Foldforever-

In support of anti-suicide!X)