Life being lonely>>AM I ALONE???!

Thinking today and the life I had,all the days that I lived, I often asked myself why do I still smile and still maintain being happy on the outside but having a messed up life everyday as soon as I opened my eyes.I wonder why>?

Maybe I just got too much hormone and maybe life is just like that for me?hmm I wonder hehe~~…

But things for me are just not like what it seems on the outside.Yes,it’s true, God blessed me with a happy heart and that what I need in my studies He blessed me (that why sometime ppl hate me and called me ‘Smarty’ because I study little yet excelled a lot).But really what it is me on the outside,my achievement,my success are really not the things I needed..I may need it years ago but not now.

I always think back and wonder why does ppl only see the happy side of me but nvr tried to know in-depth of me being sad..And it gets me thinking I’m living all alone on myself and that expecting help from ppl is totally absurd, let alone to mention idiotic.

For years, my mindset had been rock solid upon the foundation of not expecting pity and anything from anyone because no one tried to understand the burden..but when I stopped and think back everything,THE HECK…I’m not the only one having problem herrre ok!

Yeah it’s true…

When I’m sad my mind only gravitates of loneliness and the need of being pitied…

But I looked and see around,

My neighbour had her husband undergoing cancer treatment and left with a few months to live.And yet here am I thinking everything will go well..and from the outside,it does look so until I discovered myself it really is not from what it seems..

My friend lived a happy life and many frens surrounded him cause he really is friendly and he cares for his friends very much.But one day I discovered that he kept all the problem from us and that days after days he was struggling to find true friends..I mean how the heck in the world could I see that when he was the center of attention and yet still feeling inadequate of true friends..but when I looked at him, I know what he was going through is for real…and I thanked God because he is recovering, slow but for real

Another close friend of mine looks absolutely cool and friendly on the outside.She’s the most cheerful person in fact that I’ve known and met and she really has a wonderful character.But one day she told me that she asked why is it still that she must live if life is so darn stressful and not to mention, stressful beyond words..At times she despairs very much about life as well but the same reason praised God for she had recovered..

What am I getting here?It’s so simple but yet undeniably complicated…None of us really know each other problem…

Yes we may feel awfully lonely when we are going through the deepest problem in our life..But really asked yourself this (because I asked it to myself often)…If really someone understood you very well, what could he/she do so much as you could be ‘all of a sudden’ happy?

I could think of none…

Don’t ever give up if things are really low..All quite things will be loud eventually and all Loud things will eventually end up quiet.In as much as skies are filled with fireworks,the clouds will be visible again..

Being lonely is common when we are alone…But yeah…It doesn’t mean that you must be miserable for it..You can always talk to someone…XD

Because life is like that when we have problem..

It always is blurry and cloudy,

Until we really learn how to appreciate and love it

LOVE LIFE!

(because it’s worth doing so!)

-In support of Anti-suicide!-

Foldforever!

Life is FUN!!!!but it also spells S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G...

wOO..Just reached work after lunch time!Just to find out,as expected,that my Outlook cant be accesed...Had a freaking tough day taking my dad to hospital.Xp

Nyways,life is life right?...Hmm yeah I had some fun time especially when my bro's are back.We will go all 'gila gila' especially when we are young...I will reveal to you some of the 'notorius' actions and 'perilaku' we have done huahua..When i was small,more or less like bout ten>or maybe more..hehe, we always do a lot of funny things at home...one such is I use to 'wrestle' with my elder bro.YEP ITS ELDER NOT ELDEST! so u know who it is XD..(I'll get to the eldest soon)..!Nyways, yeah as I were saying me and my elder bro used to wrestle on the bed when we were young.At one time, we wrestle even till the glass broke!haha...My elder brother was trying to do a tunt by 'Kane' (Chokeslam) and I try to avoid but hit the glass and it broke...and the worst part is,my dad is on the way home....So,anxious and full of 'kegelabahness', when my father return home he asked y!of course we wont tell him we wrestle! I forgot what we told em' but it ain't anything near wrestling!!!Lol... but it was a memorable time for me though it's painful!

Even before my eldest bro went for his first day to the camp, we would play football in our house...YES!!!not outside,not beside...INSIDE! and what we use for our goal post??you wont want to know...(offensive for some religion!)XD...Nevertheless, yep broke a couple of things along the way here and there..but at the end of the day, Life is fun!...

Years went by ahead now but memories are fresh as always and living life now, of course we will miss those days..and of course we will want for those sweet times we had with our family,friends,spouse..blablabla..to never end...But, really you and I know, life is not as sweet as ever..Em, A majority of us would ask God Why?why this and that happen...why not this and that happen instead?...I can never get a full answer from God for that...not till this day still that I'm writing this..But really, asking God is never a wrong thing to do, but dont ever expect an answer..maybe not even in this life..or maybe the next.

Hmm, I think to myself and I know..past is past..happy was I then, and for now,it is still my choice...to choose whether I'm happy or not,it's only my right to decide...and the hell I will ever let anything to ruin my life XD...

Well maybe,..yes, when things are down and life seems hopeless,we will miss those happy times and we will shed tears over crave for them...If you asked me why things turn like that and why God can be so 'cruel', I cant answer you..but I always remember one thing...As long as I keep breathing, I know I will get over it and as long I'm still moving,within a blink of an eyes,i will say to myself again,'I can actually do better than that', after everything is over...

Don't ever give up in life!suffering is always a sign for joy to come and joy is always a sign for suffering to come...that's life!

-IN SUPPORT OF ANTI SUICIDE!!!-huahuahua!

-Foldforever-

Love and appreciate life!

(because it's worth doing so)

Loving life as it really is...

In everyone, there is always a wish or a hope for something to occur...We may wake up every morning wishing for the same thing to occur but often time it does not...sniff sniff...It does not matter who we are, whether ur a Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, etc..we have a wish or a hope...

Take for me example,(guinea pig betul)...

I always have a wish for ...hmmm to learn Chinese??haha...but it never occur (due to my laziness)..my bad..alright lets focus again. Some of us may hope and wish for something unrealistic, however some of us may hope for something that is just simple...but it just never come true..Love it or not, most of the 'shopping' list we have just was not fulfilled!and we ask GOD!!!!!WHYYYYYYY...

or if we're an atheist we would point the finger to?(i dunno...but i know it will be everyone else except ourselves).

and life just got bitter...life just...doesn't spark out like how it used to be...

those sweet times that u went through are all just a reminiscence that are yet to fade.and it will as much as we deny it..in the face of bitterness we tend to look at everything else...everyone else...except...the positive side...

Then, there are two ways to ,if i may call it,'temporary solution' to the heartache.

Well obviously,one of them is to sealed up the pain in the heart and erupt a volcano to the ppl we love most.

or the second, we called it 'emo' ppl, which just talk about doomsday in their life all day long and how they are not willing to live anymore...

but really, how much complain can we pour in a cup to fill our body?...Really for 19 years I've been complaining on every single thing in my life..I told God, He was blind..If He really was God then why?...I hate life so much and it seems that nothing has ever come true for me ( I mean my hope and my wishes hehe..)

And it just got bitter for me, all day long, with troubles piling and cumulating in my soul..Who was I then in the face of trouble>?

I'm sure u felt this frustration,this agitation if you may. I'm sure that life at one point or still at it that you are facing or already face problems that just never seem to go..it may be, someone passed away,may be your crush leaving you, may be a divorce or anything...

But i asked...will it ever end?...Obviously my heart say yes...BUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ALWAYS SAYS NO...(as always Xp)

So what am I really getting here?..hmm I'm a Christian and thank God for it.but really just because I am one,doesn't mean I have a ticket for a perfect no problem life...and I'm sure every other religion as well believing in God feels the same too.

In as much as life sucks,which most of the time it is, there is always a positive in it.

what is good about it???....THINK YOURSELF!!!!XD

I can tell you all the bads and the no's in life..but i cannot smack into your brain what is right and good,because,learning it is from living in those bad times...So I would leave all the painful learning for you!! XD

And if ever you think of suiciding (I was there a lot of time), always remember only the living have hope and those in the grave does not.

All my life I can sum it up like this by the things I learn, Everybody can complain, but nobody appreciates'.

May u be blessed when u read this Xd

LOVE LIVING TO THE FULLEST!

(because it is worth doing so)

-FoldForever!-

My first new blog!

Hoho...hi everybody...em provided if somebody's looking at my senseless and purporseless blog...nyways this is actually my second blog..dunno where my first one terbang dy...

em, basically i just create this blog for fun but i think hey,God provide umpteen time for me so why not share my heart (fuiyooo) with others and what others think about what i think XD.em....why loving life?...

hmm i believe many of us at least once in our live complain about being alive..many of us complain about everything that is what we see as 'bad' or 'unprofitable',(which includes myself)...but to think again should not we really appreciate our lives...em as easy words can be all of us know that action speaks louder than words...soooooo....come along with me as we,with hopes, rediscover again the wonders and the worthiness of the lives we live..Who knows God willing you may be changed..It doesn't matter what religion u'r from or what race u may be...either way, we are all one just rediscovering life...

Peace be with u!